Someone Handsome
by cassie.hack
Summary: Kaidan wants to confess, Shepard doesn't get it...
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Just something that came to my mind while watching Kaidan scenes... And you have to admit that his sudden interest in MaleShep was kinda unexpected... :)_

* * *

**Someone handsome**

"You're not sleeping, Kaidan?"

The dark-haired man shifted in his chair uncomfortably, evading the other's eyes while admitting, "Maybe a little restless..." He let his eyes wander over the Citadel Commons, still feeling Shepard's patient eyes on him, the Commander quietly giving him the time he needed to collect his thoughts.

A sigh finally escaped him before he spoke again. "It's just – you plan a career, you focus, then suddenly the world's ending and it's too late to... find someone."

"Someone?" Shepard's calming voice inquired softly and that was all it took for Kaidan to find the courage to face the other over the table.

He raised his head to meet Shepard's eyes, fearing for a second to loose himself in those soulful eyes, in the relaxed expression while the Commander listened intently to every word he spoke. It was rare, finding a peaceful moment like this these days and he was thankful Shepard had taken the time to meet him. Alone, without a buzzing Normandy in the background or any of the other crewmembers that normally followed the Commander wherever he went...

There hadn't been time to just sit down and talk and it felt good to hear Shepard's calm voice – a stark contrast to the normal loud and commanding voice Shepard used while barking orders during missions. The tone he was using now was... different... Maybe he hadn't just imagined things...

Kaidan held Shepard's gaze and nodded. "Yeah, 'someone'. Someone strong and confident." Shepard nodded, encouraging Kaidan to go on. "Someone I admire and respect and enjoy being with. Someone handsome."

God, where were these words coming from? He hadn't meant to say them, had never dared to even admit them out loud, but they were out now and Shepard was still sitting next to him. He hadn't run, he hadn't started laughing... Maybe it was time...

Kaidan gave a short laugh. "Tall order, I know," he admitted. "But I don't really have to look far." And feeling those eyes still on him, he inhaled deeply before breathing, "Shepard."

Shepard studied the man sitting across the table. Kaidan nervously evaded his eyes now and the Commander felt the need to say something, to break the tension that seemed to have been building between them to ease the fidgeting man in front of him. And so, after another second of contemplation, he leaned forward on the table, clasping his hands as he stated in a serious tone, "You mean Liara."

Kaidan's head whipped around and his mouth opened but no sound came out while he tried to determine whether Shepard was joking or not. Shepard's eyes remained calm while he studied Kaidan's expression and the other finally gave a short laugh, running a hand through his hair as he shook his head.

"Erm, no..." He gave another laugh. "No, I wasn't talking about Liara..."

Shepard nodded in thought before he turned back to a startled Kaidan. "You know you can talk to me, Kaidan. Is it Samantha? Because if it is, I gotta tell you-"

"No!" Kaidan's voice interrupted the other man and Shepard raised his hands in a defensive gesture while Kaidan cleared his throat, trying to fight a rising irritation. "It's not Liara and it's not Samantha." He clenched his teeth before quietly adding, "It's... not... a woman..."

"Oh." Shepard slightly leaned back in his chair and Kaidan already feared he would run but the other simply nodded his understanding. "I see." Shepard tapped his fingers on the table a few times as if in thought before he added, "I understand."

"You... you do?" Kaidan's voice was weak but no matter how many times he cleared his throat, it just didn't help get rid of the lump there... His eyes searched Shepard's and the other nodded, holding his gaze calmly.

"Of course," Shepard answered with a serious expression. He propped his arm on the back of his chair and gestured through the air vaguely as he went on, "James is an attractive man..." Scratching the nape of his neck trying to find the right words as not to make the other even more uncomfortable, Shepard offered, "I mean, he's very well built and-"

"It's not James," Kaidan whispered and Shepard leaned forward on his chair.

"What did you say?"

Kaidan buried his head in his hands and gave a tired sigh. "It's not James either."

"Okay..."

Another short laugh escaped Kaidan and he straightened back up, bracing his arms on the table to get up. This was a mistake...

"I better get back to the ship," he announced, already turning to leave. "But thanks for your time..." And with that, he hurried away.

* * *

"Cortez?"

Kaidan's hands balled into fists at his sides while he tapped his foot impatiently, waiting for the decontamination process to end, his back to the man standing behind him.

"No, it's not Cortez!" he hissed through clenched teeth.

"A shame, that might have been-"

The door to the Normandy's airlock hissed open and Kaidan immediately shot out, a confused Shepard still on his heels.

"Is it Joker?"

"What about me?"

"What? No! Just... forget I said anything, okay? Now, could you _please_ just leave me alone..."

They quickly crossed the CIC and stopped in front of the elevator. It started to rumble and Kaidan hit the button to summon it a few more times – just for good measure...

"I'm here to help you, Kaidan, but I can't do that if you don't talk to me... Is it someone more complicated? Is it Garrus?"

The elevator doors finally opened and Kaidan hurried in, groaning when Shepard followed. Keeping his back on the commander, he placed his forehead on the cool elevator wall and sighed, trying to ignore the other's voice...

* * *

"Come on, you can tell me..."

"I think I'll be fine, thank you." Kaidan ignored the looks he and his pursuer got from the few crew members sitting in the Mess Hall as he passed them by, evading Liara on the way to his quarters.

Shepard gave a heavy sigh but still followed the other man, still confused as to why he was running away from him and wouldn't talk... _He_ had been the one bringing the topic up in the first place, Shepard simply wished to help...

"Come on, Kaidan, I'm running out of names here... Is it Kenneth?"

The door to Kaidan's quarters hissed shut right in front of Shepard's face and the lock quickly turned from green to red. With a groan, Shepard's forhead hit the closed door and he closed his eyes for a second, taking deep, controlled breaths.

"What was that all about?"

Hearing the soft voice behind him, Shepard pushed himself off the door and turned to Liara, running a hand through his hair. He sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "I have no idea... One second he was telling me about someone he fancies and the next I'm chasing him through the entire Citadel and he refuses to tell me who it is..."

A smile tugged at Liara's lips and she nodded. "I see..."

Shepard's eyebrow rose. "You know who it is?" Seeing Liara's shrug, he threw his hands up in frustration. "How come you know it and I don't? Did he tell _everyone_ but me?"

"Not exactly..." Liara bit her lower lip and she turned her head towards her office as if deciding whether she should make a run for it or not... "He..." Her brows furrowed in thought. "There may have been... certain extranet searches..."

"Like what?"

_'Mr. N7'-calendar 2180..._

The asari winced guiltily before glancing at the datapad in her right hand. "My, is that the hour?" she mused and turned back to Shepard, touching his shoulder lightly. "I really should finish these reports." And with that, and a warm, apologetic smile, she spun on her heels and hurried back to her office, her door lock – just like Kaidan's – turning from green to red to prevent Shepard from following...

Shepard shook his head in defeat and a heavy sigh escaped him. "I need a drink!"


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: As (kinda) requested by AD Lewis and Tion Blaire, chapter 2 just for you... :)  
_

* * *

"And he suddenly refused to tell you who it was..."

"Exactly." Shepard nodded eagerly before grabbing his glass off the bar and downing it in one large gulp, signaling Garrus to refill it.

The turian standing at the other side of the bar nodded and refilled Shepard's glass before lifting his own, obviously in thought.

"I see..."

Shepard emptied the next glass and slammed it on the bar, brushing the back of his hand over his mouth before he leaned forward, his eyes narrowing as he added in a conspirational tone, "He's become a bit more sensitive over the last couple of years it seems..."

Garrus gave a short laugh. "Pointing your gun at him and yelling at him to, I quote: 'drop the damn gun or you'll rip him a new hole' wasn't very sensitive either..."

Shepard ran a hand through his hair, giving a heavy sigh. "I was a little tense at that moment, okay? Plus, he had _his_ gun pointed at me as well, I was only protecting myself and my crew." He held up a finger, taking a deep breath in between sentences. "_Plus_, he shot at me through the roof of the elevator. He could have easily hit me back there..."

Garrus grabbed Shepard's still outstretched hand and soothingly placed it back on the bar, pushing the almost empty bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy a little farther away from the already slightly swaying human as a precaution. "Now, now... Let's not start with the whole accusation game, you know he didn't mean to hurt you. And besides..." His mandibles twitched in amusement. "There might be another explanation for his sudden sensitivity whenever you're around..."

"Like what?" Shepard eyed Garrus over the rim of his glass suspiciously, placing it against his lips until he realized it was already empty. With a sad, whimpering sound he held it towards Garrus but the turian simply crossed his arms in front of his chest and shook his head.

"You sure you want more? You're barely able to sit upright as it is..."

Narrowing his eyes, Shepard staggeringly got off his chair only to place his knee on it a second later as he halfway climbed onto the bar, reaching for the bottle at the far side of it. Too perplexed – and at the same time too engrossed in the display of drunken acrobatics taking place in front of him – Garrus simply watched while Shepard secured his treasure and half-climbed, half-fell off the bar to settle back on his bar stool.

With a triumphant grin, Shepard opened the bottle and placed it on his lips, taking a few large gulps before he pointed the bottleneck at Garrus in accusation. "You still haven't answered my question."

The turian gave a sigh and nodded. "You still haven't figured it out, have you..."

"Figured out _what_?"

"Oh spirits..." Garrus placed his elbows on the bar and buried his head in his hand before adding, "There's one more man aboard this ship who fits Kaidan's description perfeclty..."

Shepard's brows furrowed in thought but he still shook his head after a while, shrugging his shoulders at the groan coming from across the table.

"A handsome, young man...?" Garrus offered hopefully, gesturing towards his friend.

"I don't..." Shepard shrugged helplessly, lifting the bottle to his lips again while he thought about the turian's words. His eyes suddenly widened and his head whipped back to his friend. He pointed a shaking finger at himself, cautiously croaking, "Me?" Seeing the turian's head nod in relief, he gave a short laugh and lifted the bottle back to his lips. "Yeah right..."

"Come on, Shepard, _everyone_ knew Kaidan had an old 'Mr. N7'-calendar in his locker..."

The mouthful of brandy sprayed over the entire bar as Shepard spat out his drink, clutching his throat with a pained expression while he coughed and wheezed in front of his patiently waiting friend. Expressionless, the turian reached under the bar and produced a towel to start wiping at the spilled brandy while he waited for Shepard to regain his composure.

After another few coughs and – in Garrus' opinion unnecessary – gagging sounds, Shepard finally placed both of his hands back on the bar to steady himself as he raised his eyes. "Wow..." he breathed before a mischievous smile started playing around his lips, turning to face Garrus with gleaming eyes. "You think I'm handsome?"

The turian gave a short laugh and shook his head, placing the towel back under the bar. "Don't get your hopes up... I like you, you know that, but as a friend. I'm not planning on riding into the sunset with you..."

"I'm hurt." Shepard took another gulp from the brandy and pointed the bottle at his friend once again, grinningly propping his chin in the palm of his hand. "I think we'd make a great couple..."

"Aaaaand that's definitely enough brandy for you today, my friend..."

Before Shepard had time to react, Garrus snatched the almost empty bottle out of his hand and stashed it under the bar, batting the human's searching hands away a few times until he got the message and slumped back on his chair, sulkily crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?"

The turian shrugged. "We thought you knew... I mean, come on, it was pretty obvious... Him carefully checking your armor before every mission... slapping your ass after every successfull kill..." He gestured through the air vaguely, telling Shepard he could go on all day listing more signs.

"Ugh, Tali's just gonna love this..." Shepard groaned, burying his head in his arms on the bar. "What am I supposed to do now?" followed his mumbled question.

Garrus shrugged – even though his friend couldn't see the gesture. "Treat him like before. Well, maybe minus the groping-part, I think that would only further irritate Tali..." His mandibles twitched in amusement at the answering groan from across the bar before he continued, "But to be honest, I think he's gotten the message by now, there's no need to make it even more awkward than it already is..."

"Right..."

* * *

Kaidan shot up from his couch at the sound of a loud, thundering _thump_ outside his door, disturbing the peaceful silence he'd been enjoying. Unlocking the door controls and opening it, he was rewarded with a limp bundle of limbs spilling into the cabin.

"Shepard?"

Some movement returned into the disheveled bundle and a pair of bloodshot eyes appeared from under loose strands of black hair, blinking at him a few times before Shepard cleared his throat and hurriedly staggered to his feet. His hand searchingly reached out until he found a solid wall to balance his swaying body and after running a hand through his hear and over his tired eyes a few times, he turned back to his skeptical crew member.

"Are you drunk?"

One of Shepard's eyes narrowed in confusion. "Who, me? No..." He waved his free hand dismissively, stopping the movement abrupty as his form started swaying again. He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose before his eyes settled back on Kaidan. "I'm fine," he sighed, forcing a smile while he leaned his back against the wall next to the closing door, "Just peachy..."

"M-hm..." Kaidan crossed his arms, his eyes scanning the poor excuse for a commander in front of him.

Clearing his throat again, Shepard shook his head, hoping that action might help clear it... "OK, let's get this over with..." Shepard's voice trailed off, his eyes darting to the open window at the far side of the room while he gathered his courage for his next words. "Here's the thing... "

"Shepard, you don't have to do this..."

"Yeah I do." Shepard's sincere eyes locked on Kaidan again and the dark-haired Spectre simply nodded for him to continue. Shepard inhaled deeply. "I'm flattered, I really am and I'm all for it- I mean, I think it's great, I just... I mean I'm not..." He scrunched his face, stumbling over his words. "I fully support what you do or want to do or think about doing- Ugh..." He covered his mouth, turning his head to the side. Once he was feeling stable enough after a few deep breaths, he turned back only to find Kaidan's fearful eyes on him. Reading the other's expression correctly, Shepard gave a short laugh, waving his hand hurriedly. "I'm sorry, that was just the brandy..."

"So you _are_ drunk," Kaidan stated calmly.

Shepard shrugged his shoulders apologetically before he pointed a finger at Kaidan, slightly leaning forward and off the wall, "What I'm trying to say is that, even if the two of us are never going to work out, I'll be damned if we can't find a suitable man for you!"

"You... what?" Kaidan's brows furrowed in confusion. Of all the reactions he'd expected from Shepard – and yes, Shepard getting sick had been among them – this wasn't one of them...

"I could be your wing-man!" Shepard announced, smiling proudly.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea..."

"Oh come on, of course it is!" Shepard pushed himself off the wall and staggeringly approached Kaidan whose arms shot out just in time to catch him before he tripped over his own feet.

"Let's discuss this once you're sobered up..."

Shepard rolled his eyes. "Pfffft, please, my ideas always work out, regardless of my state of intoxication. Just trust me with this, I'll be the best wing-man you've ever had!"

"I don't..."

Shepard wrapped an arm around the other's shoulder, grinning triumphantly. "Is that a yes, Mr. Alenko?"

Kaidan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in defeat. "All right, fine..."

"Excellent! You won't regret it."

* * *

"What about that guy over there?"

"The one at the bar?"

"Yup." Shepard nodded, taking another sip from his drink while the man standing next to him shot a quick glance at a blond man leaning casually against the bar near _Purgatory_'s dancefloor.

Sighing, Kaidan shook his head. "No, I don't think so."

"What?" Shepard's head whipped around, his brows raised in confusion. "Look at his drink! It's got a fruit in it! And look at the way he's holding the glass," he pointed out, the hand holding his glass flying through the air while he gesticulated wildly before coming to the conclusion, "He's definitely gay..."

Kaidan shook his head again, gently placing a hand on Shepard's before the commander could spill the rest of his drink all over the dancefloor in front of them – some of the dancers had already lost their footing on the slippery ground and he didn't want to risk having to deal with an enraged Aria... "He's been watching the dancers the entire time he's been here, he's not gay."

"Pfffft, whatever... Then how about... that guy?"

"Tall, dark, with a beard?"

"Yup."

"That's Cortez."

Shepard's head turned back to Kaidan, a wide grin on his face. "And what do we know about Cortez...?"

Kaidan's eyes widened. "I am not starting an affair with a crew member!"

"You were hitting on me..."

"That's... different..."

"How's that- ooooh, hold on, what about that one? The one just approaching the bar?"

Kaidan's eyes followed Shepard's outstretched finger until they settled on a muscular back. "He's..." He paused, his eyes narrowing. "Huh..."

"U-huh..." Shepard grinned, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"I don't-" But before Kaidan could finish his sentence, Shepard had already pushed himself off the wall they had been leaning on and quickly strode towards the bar, oblivious to the dark-haired man groaning in frustration and trying to hide behind his drink while his commander left to possibly embarass not only himself but Kaidan as well...

And, just as predicted, only a few minutes later the entire club turned their heads towards a blushing Kaidan after they'd followed Shepard's line of sight while the commander happily pointed at the man standing next to him at the bar, yelling, "Kaidan, he's gay!"


End file.
